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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29765979">satisfied</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sstarsunee/pseuds/sstarsunee'>sstarsunee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Romance, Hamilton Lyrics, Hamilton References, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:28:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,054</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29765979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sstarsunee/pseuds/sstarsunee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>basically i just. this hit different okay leave me alone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>DirkJake, Jake English/Dirk Strider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>satisfied</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>your name is dirk strider. you’re at one of your best bro’s weddings. you’re holding a glass in your hand, your mind racing with ways to phrase what you want to say about this. you didn’t want this, to put it lightly. you wanted to object, you wanted to scream, you wanted to sob. you couldn’t do any of those things, though. hell, you didn’t even think you had the right to. you anxiously gulp and raise the glass in your hand. you barely even paid attention to what came out of your own mouth.</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“A toast to the groom,”</span>
</p><p>jake english. god, he looked so good in that suit. he looked perfect, a smile plastered on his face and his eyes brimming with happiness as they fixated on his wife. he was just… so happy. you’d give anything to keep him that way.</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“to the bride,”</span>
</p><p>jane crocker. or, you guess as of today, jane english. her giddiness matched jake’s. you swear you could see tears in her eyes. she seemed so happy… and who were you to take that away from her?</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“from your best friend,”</span>
</p><p>roxy lalonde. that’s who you were throw onto this stage and was forced to bless these two people by. she always had good intentions, just as buddy-buddy with jake and jane as you were, moreso even.</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“who is always by your side.”</span>
</p><p>you were never good at feelings. you had been friends with jake english for longer than you could remember. you had spent more years of your life with that man than without which was… sad, really. really sad.</p><p>you spoke out of your ass, having never made a toast to anyone before. especially to someone you knew damn well you wanted at their wedding. rain hit the glass. the foliage swayed in tune with your blessing.</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“May you always,”</span>
</p><p>your heart was beating faster every minute, your shades slipping down your nose. roxy stood up beside you. you hardly noticed it. jake was giving you that damned english look. one of pride, one of desire. it was painful now.</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“be satisfied.”</span>
</p><p>
  <i>rewind.</i>
</p><p>your gaze casted down at the ground. jake held up a glass as well in cahoots with your toast. you struggled to lift yours after a bit. he looked at you funny, your gaze unable to meet his. the room faded away. you were no longer in a church. it felt lonely. you felt so lonely. you tightly shut your eyes, the view of the ground disappearing along with everything else around you. when you lifted your head once again, eye shooting open, you were somewhere different. a ball. a galla? somewhere with people. music. you saw yourself, almost looking years younger.</p><p>you were in a vest, a suit of sorts, hair slicked back with gel and shades looking shiner than ever. you were nervous, looking like you were about to break out into a cold sweat. you walked over to roxy, grabbing her shoulder with a gentle hand. you leaned down so that you were close to her ear and she could hear you amongst all the crowd noise</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“Rox, you seriously need to stop running off. I feel like I’m looking after a goddamn two year old.”</span>
</p><p>your gaze cast upwards, seeing a man who was speaking to roxy. his eyes sparkled green, the shine on his lenses casting back at you in almost an innocent way. you stood up straight, your eyes going wider behind your shades. he had a hand to his neck like an awkward teenager would, a welcoming smile being gifted in your direction. you cleared your throat and stood up straight, mindlessly dusting off your jacket.</p><p>roxy snorted, slipping from in between you and the young man. she patted him on the back, whispering a “good luck bub” to him before wondering off into the crowd. you wanted to reach out, to chase after her and make sure you didn’t lose her again, but you stopped yourself. now he was in front of you. his eyes almost glew as they looked up at you, the frame of his body being slim and stature. his hands dropped to his sides for a moment, a silence falling between you two.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">“Hey there chum!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake"></span>
</p><p>his voice broke the silence, the entire ballroom being lit up again as he offered a hand in your direction. you visibly gulped. your hands became clammy as they were gripped into fists. you returned the warm smile he gave you with a sealed-lip, slightly less welcoming one, taking his hand into yours. he gave it a firm shake before letting go of it.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">“Would you like to go outside for a bit? Its awfully stuffy in here dontcha think?”</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake"></span>
  </span>
</p><p>you nodded without a second thought, a firm hand grasping around your forearm and dragging you along. even if he didn’t grab you, you would have followed. you’d want to follow this man until your legs were numb and you physically couldn’t. he brought you out to a balcony, letting go of you and leaning against a railing. you anxiously reached into your pocket and grabbed a cigarette.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake"></span>
  </span>
</p><p>as you lit the item in your hands, you took a huge hit and then leaned against the railing with him.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake"></span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“You’re fine with smoking, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">“Sure! I wouldnt prefer it myself but for my buckos who do, I couldnt really care much!”</span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake"></span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“Cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake"></span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>more silence fell over you two, the only noise being ushered were quiet puffs and exhales from you and your cigarette. you hadn’t even gotten the man’s name yet, but here you were, smoking with him on a balcony with the quiet sounds of the crowd behind you and behind a glass door.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">“You strike me as a man who has never been satisfied.”</span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake"></span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“Yeah, right. You forget yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">“Youre like me! Im never satisfied.”</span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake"></span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“Is that right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">“I have never been satisfied.”</span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake"></span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you exhaled in a laugh, smoke going into your nose and flooding the air. you were thankful he continued the conversation or else you felt like you were going to jump off this balcony from the awkward tension. you leaned closer to him, the two of you now face to face.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake"></span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“The name’s Dirk Strider.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">“Jake English.”</span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake"></span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>he also leaned forward, his forehead close to your nose and a coy smile on his face. he looked up at you, the rim of his glasses just barely obscuring the tops of his eyes. you cocked your head slightly to the side, your shades clinking against his glasses.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake"></span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“Where’s your family from?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake"></span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>he turned his head, letting out a chuckle and closing his eyes.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">“Unimportant! Theres a million things I havent done!”</span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake"></span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>he turned more, backing away from you and looking up to the stars in the sky. they only made the twinkle in his eyes brighter. he leaned against the railing again, a larger smile plastered across his face.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">“Just you wait oh just you wait!”</span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake"></span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>he offered you a fist bump which you gladly accepted. his smile was devious, but not in an untrusting way. you knew he had big plans for himself, which was good. he then grabbed your forearm once again, dragging you back into the room full of people. you could have sworn it was only the two of you, though. once the two of you were in a place where not many people were in the room, he turned to you with a wide smile on his face.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">“Do you know how to dance?”</span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake"></span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">“Dance! Like waltz and stuff!”</span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake"></span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“Not waltz but I know how to dance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">“Oh bollocks cmere Dirk!”</span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake"></span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>he continued to smile at you as he pulled you closer, his lips closing around his bright grin as he moved his arm up to your hand. he delicately placed your hand on his shoulder and the other in the same place on his opposite shoulder.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">“So this is what your hand position would be!”</span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake"></span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>english happily noted, finally releasing his grip on dirk and placing his hands on his hips. dirk jolted a little at this, his hands gripping the tiniest bit tighter onto the other boy’s shoulders. jake removed one hand and reached around to grab onto dirk’s.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake">“Just let me lead this one all right? Follow my lead!”</span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you anxiously nodded, his fingers intertwining with your own. he stepped back and forth from right to left, and eventually you caught on and began following. he teased you about it, throwing a wink up at you. you barely even paid attention to what he said, enjoying this moment with the boy. </p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>the rest of the dance lesson was a blur. you’d joke, he’d laugh, that would make you laugh, rinse and repeat. you spun him out, him flying back and falling in your arms with laughter. you suggested getting drinks, leaving him on his own for a moment. you went, got two beers, and when you got back, he was speaking to jane.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <i>helpless.</i>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>and you know she is</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <i>helpless.</i>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>and her eyes… are just</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <i>helpless.</i>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you took a deep breath. you pushed your shades up. you took the two beers and walked out. roxy grabbed your sleeve and you told her you were tired. months later, they were hanging out more. jane was happy, in love. that much was obvious. you and jake remained friends, but that was it. friends. best bros. and it was probably going to stay that way.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you wanted to be happy. she was trusting, kind. everything you’d want. if you ever told her that you thought you had feelings for jake, you were sure she would back off. and you didn’t want that. you would much rather be miserable without jake than make someone else miserable and have jake.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>that never stopped you from fantasizing. from fantasizing about waking up in the morning and imagining that warm hand coiled around your cheek, the boy beside you. you’d always want to reach out and hold him, cuddle him. he’d disappear and you’d wake up. you’d sob, grabbing the empty spot in your bed. you’d nearly rip the sheets everytime.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you were finally brought back to reality.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you were back in the church.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>roxy was beside you, grabbing your sleeve just like she did that night. she was asking if you were okay. tears slicked your face, obvious even beneath your shades. you forced yourself to smile, forced yourself to be happy.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“To the groom!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>roxy sat back down, almost falling back in her seat from the shock of you suddenly speaking up.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“To the bride!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>jake looked at you with concern, same with jane. the original joy on their face was replaced by concern and worry.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“From your best friend,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you sputtered and coughed, leaning over the desk you were standing behind with your glass still weakly raised in the air. you tried your best to speak. it was hard. your voice was hoarse and throat rough. your nails weakly scratched the desk.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“who is always by your side!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you couldn’t take it. you slammed the glass down, threw your chair out of your way and rushed out of the church as quickly as you could. you didn’t mean to make a scene. you just wanted to sink into the floor and leave. you left heaving, you left sniffing and sobbing. you heard jake call after you. you couldn’t bring yourself to turn back to him.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you threw the doors of the church open, slamming them behind you as you basically fell in front of it. you struggled upward, slamming your back against a wall and sliding down it. you held your face, lifting your shades and wiping your wet face.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“May you always,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you weakly talked to yourself. you hadn’t planned this toast. you hadn’t planned this marriage. you just wanted to be happy. you just wanted…</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="dirk">“be satisfied…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>to be satisfied.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you know she’ll be happy as his bride. you know that they’ll both be happy. both be giddy and chipper or whatever the fuck. you just wanted them to be happy.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>you heard the door open. you cocked your head to the side.</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">“Dirk are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake"></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake"></span>
</p><p>hands and worried eyes met you, his hand gripping your shoulder.</p><p>
  <i>he will never be satisfied.</i>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">
      <span class="jake">
        <span class="jake">
          <span class="jake">
            <span class="jake">
              <span class="jake">
                <span class="jake">
                  <span class="jake">
                    <span class="jake">
                      <span class="jake">
                        <span class="jake">
                          <span class="jake">
                            <span class="jake"></span>
                          </span>
                        </span>
                      </span>
                    </span>
                  </span>
                </span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="jake">
    <span class="jake">“Please speak to me chum.”</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <i>you will never be satisfied.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PLEASE tell me if there's any grammar or like spelling errors please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻</p></blockquote></div></div>
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